I Only Want You To Love Me

So, I’m just met new this guy not to long ago, and he recently lost his mom about four months ago. And even though, at times he’s fine and at times he’s talks about being lonelier than ever because his mom was his best friend and confidant. His family is dysfunctional, and like most families when the matriarch dies most families break apart.

So yesterday we had this deep conversation about life, travel and relationships, and as always I like to pick the brain to see how you feel about certain things and your perspectives. Because if we were to date it would be long distance, we’re in two totally different states. (Primarily because I’m going back to school).

It’s just like he has all these things of what should be, what things should look like, his ideal life planned out – but when it doesn’t play out the way he sees fit, he feels himself giving up. In a sense of seeing his value for what he’s worth, being his true authentic – self (changing who he is to get girls). Because he’s the good guy, and all the good guys finish last. He witnesses all his friends cheating on their fiancees, wives, girlfriends and treating girls like options and not priorities. And you can tell it’s really taking a toll on his self- esteem because he isn’t build like a bodybuilder standing at 6’3.  But when society sets standards on “what’s supposed to be attractive and what’s not.” Welp, I don’t know if you can’t really blame the man.

I told him, I have a very close family, we have lunch and dinners all the time and we love and are very supportive of each other. I feel like I am incapable of feeling some sort of void and emptiness you hold in your heart and life. Like it’s my fault and I know it’s not. So, I just prayed and meditated just hoping that you’d become whole. Because I can’t offer you something that you don’t have first.

No amount of love of another woman will never compare to that of a man’s mother. No matter how good she treats him.   

– XO

Stay Beautiful

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