My ride home today was a little bit different. Normally, I blast songs and sing along to them to past the time away, but today particularly I believe I had too much time and started to think about things I didn’t want to think about.
I’m currently in studying computer science, and working on launching my stationery store, (which by the way I only sold one item) and I was left alone with my thoughts.
really.
perhaps, it was a somewhat harsh reality I was left with – it caused me to reflect on my current state at where I am at this point in my life.
And I can honestly say, at 27 I sometimes feel like I should be farther along and more established than where I currently am. I know that I’m not alone as I type this, and as I say this – but at times I feel like I am a failure and all I want to do is make my dad proud.
But how can I do that when the job I work I can barely support myself? Like literally. The job I have barely covers my car payment. Not to mention the other two bills I have.
Ya’ll talking about an emotional breakdown?
I had one today in the car. literally, while driving. Snotting and all.
Better out than in right? At least that’s what my grandma always said.
It’s like how can I pay all my bills on time with most of them still being late on some sort of payment plan (sending out late notices it’s just a lot. – the part that really gets to me is I just don’t want my credit to get jacked up cause I’m going through a rough patch) Le Sigh.
And somehow it all keeps coming back to this that your 20’s is the time to figure it all out, workout the kinks, and realize that everyone’s journey is different. Especially when you look at how old Jay-Z, J.K. Rowling, and Jack Ma was when he first started.
However, one thing I refuse to do is complain because I know my situation could always be worst.
Things have to get worst before they get better right?
Anywho,
Stay Beautiful
-XO
Day 63
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